Basically, life sucks and the world is full of jerks. Unrequited love, war, famine, people stealing your parking space, the crumbs at the bottom of the cereal box that turn to a vile mush when milk is added – it’s all a festering pile of cosmic retribution for something you’ve not done yet because life sucks so much you’ve been too miserable to try. There is no English term for joie de vivre. French people seem miserable in spite of this. Here are some things that have sucked recently.
1: Last week, she said I was a childish, selfish, inconsiderate, unreliable, lazy, shiftless, self-destructive loser with an alcohol problem (but with potential - go figure). That sucks. She was probably right. That sucks more.
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| Kirk Van Houten: All of the above |
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2: A few days ago, she invited me (the one with the apparent alcohol problem) to A FUCKING BEER FESTIVAL. Why? As far as I can make out, because her ex might have been there and she didn’t want to lose face in front of him. After she told me he definitely wasn't going to be there, I rainchecked. She didn’t care. That also sucked.
3: A couple of weeks ago, I decided to play basketball for the first time in years in an effort to get in shape and be more active. Within half an hour, I had bust my right knee, torn my calf muscle and trapped a nerve in my neck. I’m still not recovered. That sucked.
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| Ouch! My Lateral Gastrocnemius! |
4: I was standing outside a bar as a young woman was walking up the street. An older woman walked towards her in the opposite direction, hit her in the face for no reason, and ran off as we were helping the poor girl up. That sucks.
5: My friend broke up with her boyfriend and finally moved out of his van... into an abandoned mental hospital. That sucks.
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| I simply adore the ambience. Electroconvulsive Therapy is so homely |
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